There is no spoon but there is a scoring system

Humans are largely creatures of habit and partition. We like to know what's what, who's who and where things are. Some of us even invest a little energy where the real juice is, in 'why'. Labelling and boxing up stuff helps our brains model and process information quickly. Without that ability the sheer volume of input streaming across our cortex into the thalamus would utterly overwhelm any ability to respond rationally or fast enough to make a difference.

There are downsides to quick labelling and unthinking categorisation, indeed a whole industry and entire philosophies have been built on the understanding that the labels we use affect our view of the world.

Now, where things get really important, the labels become binary: something either matters or it doesn't. For the Stuff That Matters ^(tm), (like the fine-ness of a mighty fine burger for example), it's okay to use shorthand, a score to quickly cut to the root of the matter.

There is an essential 'is-ness' to a burger. It's not a complicated foodstuff; beef, seasoning, bun, but from that simple beginning comes a fractal tree of variations and combinations littered with condiments, sides, enhancers, presentation and history. The infinite possibilities such a rich backround of factors leaves us entirely open to messy language and labels that can cloud the truth of an experience.

What is required is a simple score, such that we can confidently say; "This IS a mighty fine burger" or "This IS a crime against taste".

You gotta have a system. These guys have theirs, this guy has his, here's mine:

The Scoring System

Burger experiences shall be scored out of 5 on each
of the following KBIs (Key Burger Indicators) :

• KBI-1 : Quality of Burger
• KBI-2 : Distinguishing Features (e.g. Bacon, Chilli)
• KBI-3 : Ability of Bun to Maintain Order
• KBI-4 : Condiment Enhancement (Sauce Factor)
• KBI-5 : Fries Counterpoint
• KBI-6 : Other Supporting Actors (e.g. Side orders, Onion Rings etc)

Giving a theoretical maximum possible 30 marks.

For an item to achieve 5 marks it should be nothing less than perfection from first salivate to last bite. Items scoring 1 are merely functional. Zero scores will be given for no-shows or uneatable items.

Tomorrow, we Calibrate!